Maya Aldosari, 18, puts up a poster for WAVE (Wellness Ambassadors to Voice and Empower) in October near an area where students eat lunch at Capital High School. WAVE provides a source for peer support at several Santa Fe schools.
Maya Aldosari, 18, puts up a poster for WAVE (Wellness Ambassadors to Voice and Empower) in October near an area where students eat lunch at Capital High School. WAVE provides a source for peer support at several Santa Fe schools.
We see it everywhere. In movies, books, even holiday cards: that life is supposed to be a gift, a blessing from a force beyond ourselves. But that isn't how everyone sees it. For some, life can become quite painful, and the only way they can think to alleviate suffering is through suicide. In Santa Fe County alone in 2021, nearly 16% of high school students had seriously considered suicide, according to the Youth Risk and Resiliency Survey.
Experiencing suicidal thoughts or watching someone you love go through them can be really scary, but there are many ways a person can get help. Knowing how to discuss suicide, what to do if someone is feeling suicidal and some of the key resources available for people who are struggling can be helpful — whether someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts themselves or knows someone who is.
Often people say a person “committed suicide.” “Committed,” as if the person had devoted their life to that very moment of self-sabotage or that their death is some sort of condemnable crime. Many have opted to reframe the phrasing by saying "death by suicide.” This phrasing helps remove blame from the victim.
No matter how it’s said, suicide is a scary subject to discuss, yet research indicates that confronting the issue face-on with the person helps. According to The Jefferson Center, a Colorado-based mental health care provider, one common “myth” about suicide is that asking someone if they are thinking about suicide could cause or encourage it. The organization highlights that instead, the simple act of asking can go a long way.
Even if the person says no, asking shows them you care. If a person does open up, listen. Even if you have no advice to give or can’t think of a way to help, simply being there for them can go a long way. If the person is a youth, try to connect them with an adult they can trust like a school nurse or counselor who can get them help.
I thought having suicidal thoughts was normal — something that passed everyone's mind at least once. But it isn't. These thoughts were the effect of being trapped in the seamless gray prison of depression, with no notable way out. At least, that’s how it was for me. Though the experience varies from person to person, suicidal thoughts can happen if a person is dealing with symptoms of depression.
According to the World Health Organization, depression is “characterized by a low mood or loss of pleasure or interest in activities for long periods of time.” Like snow on a mountain, depression can build up a lot of weight and pressure. Eventually there will be a disturbance it can’t withstand, crumbling under pressure. If someone feels hopeless and has lost interest in their daily activities, or has any other symptom of depression, it’s important to talk with a health care provider.
So how else can someone help another who has traveled down this road find their way back? First, be able to identify the signs of suicidal thoughts in others. According to the Trevor Project, a nonprofit organization focused on helping LGBTQ+ youth, signs a person might be suicidal include sudden personality shifts or if a person has new substance abuse issues around alcohol, cannabis, pills or other drugs.
Sometimes these hints are more noticeable, like if someone starts giving away their belongings or describing plans they might have related to dying by suicide. If someone starts talking about a plan they have to die by suicide, it’s important to have a conversation as soon as possible and alert an adult.
There are also programs in Santa Fe and across the country for people struggling. For example, at several Santa Fe schools, including Capital High School and Santa Fe High School, there is a student-driven group called WAVE (Wellness Ambassadors to Voice and Empower) to spread awareness not just for suicide but other issues like gun violence and bullying. At Capital High where I go to school, joining is as simple as showing up to the choir room for lunch.
Other valuable resources include the New Mexico Crisis Access Line for emergencies and also the state’s Peer-to-Peer Warm Line, which can connect you to people who have recovered from suicide attempts or substance abuse issues to talk. For LGBTQ+ youth, the Trevor Project also runs a crisis line via call, text or online chat. For people struggling with suicidal thoughts, it might also be important to talk to a doctor or counselor to access therapy and possibly medication. Whether it’s your family doctor, a school nurse or someone else, don't be scared to reach out or help someone reach out.
If you yourself are experiencing suicidal thoughts, try to keep moving. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline has recommendations for helping yourself, including by finding a therapist or support group, making a safety plan and self-care. The hotline website even provides a list of things to do like cooking from scratch, volunteering or just taking a walk.
No reason for being here is too small. Whether it’s just small house chores like cleaning your room to something more productive like work and school, focusing on other things can help. Find events and accomplishments to look forward to. Too many worry that putting themselves first is selfish, but it’s essential for your well-being to do things just for you sometimes. Be in charge of your own feelings, and fight for the happiness you deserve. Live for you.
Maricia Gallegos is a junior at Capital High School. Contact her at maxxii.g06@gmail.com.
The Santa Fe New Mexican observes its 175th anniversary with a series highlighting some of the major stories and figures that have appeared in the paper's pages through its history. The collection also includes archival photo galleries.
